Skullfucking
by BlessedMasochist
Summary: If Kakuzu could pinpoint the trait he hated the most it would have to be the noise; the constant, never-ending stream of preaching, cursing, and complaining that spilled forth from Hidan's mouth on a regular basis. [Pwp. Gore, decapitation, dubious consent, and literal skullfucking.]


They'd never been the perfect pair, their first day as partners had ended in several bruises and a severed middle finger. If Kakuzu could pinpoint the trait he hated the most it would have to be the noise; the constant, never-ending stream of preaching, cursing, and complaining that spilled forth from Hidan's mouth on a regular basis. He'd sewn the immortal's mouth shut countless times with the hope that he'd finally be quiet, but it never silenced him for more than a few minutes. Hidan had slowly gotten better and better at removing the tight stitching, and with it's removal a whole new string of curses and complaints would surge forth. Kakuzu had given up trying most days, and tried his best to tune him out.

"Kakuzu."

_No response._

"Kakuzu you motherfucker I'm talking to you! Put the fucking book down!"

The man in question sighed heavily, and resisted the urge to punch the pale zealot hard in the stomach. "What." he replied, red and green eyes leaving the pages of his book momentarily to stare at the source of the noise. "Were you listening at all?" Hidan asked with a scowl. "I'm trying to save your soul here, I'm not preaching for the hell of it, damnit!" His magenta eyes burned with an indescribable intensity and Kakuzu sighed.

"I'm an athiest." he repeated for the fourth time since they'd begun walking. Hidan snarled, shaking his rosary at his stubborn partner as though he were a demon. "Just fucking accept Jashin and you'll live forever damnit." He practically hissed. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "Why do you care whether I live or die?" He asked lowly, putting the zealot on the spot. The silver haired man blinked, looking momentarily confused by the question. "I… well I don't!" He replied, putting his rosary back around his neck. "Jashin doesn't care who is converted as long as they're converted. You're the only one around so I'm preaching to you." he said. "Well stop it. I don't care." Kakuzu said flatly, returning to his book. They were still a few miles from where they would rest for the night and the sun shone red on the horizon as it began to set. It was blissfully quiet for exactly two minutes.

"Kakuzu my feet fucking hurt."

The sun had set when they came upon an abandoned concrete building nestled among the trees. From the look of it it used to be some sort of fallout shelter, long abandoned since the last war. "We're stopping here for tonight." The stitched man said monotonously, adjusting their course towards the building. "Fucking seriously?" Hidan said. "Why can't we stay at a damn hotel, seriously?" he compained. "I'm going to throw out my fucking back sleeping on concrete!"

Kakuzu scowled angrily, patience wearing thin as it always did. "Then don't sleep." he growled, kicking open the heavy metal door. It was mostly empty inside, and Kakuzu rolled his eyes when he spotted a cot and several sleeping mats in the corner. Why was it that fortune always seemed to favour the immortal? "Fuckin' A." Hidan exlaimed. Kakuzu shook his head and formed a few hand seals, cloaking their presence as a precaution. Hidan took it upon himself to claim the cot during this time, looking very pleased with himself as he sat atop it, as if to dare Kakuzu to stop him.

"Get off. You're sleeping on the floor." Kakuzu said, looking irritable. Hidan was younger, and despite the fact that Kakuzu was in good shape for his age, his back still pained him from time to time and he avoided sleeping on floors at all costs. "Why? 'Cause your fucking old?" Hidan retorted with a scowl. Kakuzu took a threatening step forward and Hidan put both hands on the edge of the cot, as if it would somehow deter the other man.

Kakuzu snarled and detatched both hands to grab ahold of the infuriating younger man. "You should respect your elders." he said. One hand took a fistful of silver hair, and the other encircled a thin wrist. Hidan let out a hiss of pain and desperately clung to the cot, even as Kakuzu yanked on his body. "Fucking let go jackass!" he practically screeched as his head was jerked backwards, exposing the pale collumn of his neck. "What if I cut off your head?" Kakuzu murmured, voice dangerously low as he continued forward, walking until his hands were reattached at the wrist, still gripping the zealot tightly. He jerked Hidan's hair again to force his eyes upward. "You never learn your lesson…" he murmured, trailing threads across his neck threateningly, spliting the skin just enough to draw a thin line of blood. Hidan shivered, closing his eyes suddenly.

There was something different about his manner of speaking. Ordinarily, he wouldn't hesitate to decapitate the loud man, why was he stopping to talk? "Don't you fucking dare." Hidan retorted, voice somewhat quieter. "And why shouldn't I?" Kakuzu replied, moving the hand on the other man's wrist to around his neck and applying pressure. Hidan arched his back slightly, face turning red as Kakuzu's grip tightened around his throat. "Let… go…" he managed to wheeze, hands scrambling to hit the other man. He was always unprepared for their fights, and rarely did he bother to fight properly. Kakuzu always won in the end, incapacitating the younger man. Amused, Kakuzu relented, but only slightly. "Get off of the cot." He instructed. "No!"

The stitched nin tightened his grip again, lifting the man up off of the cot this time. Hidan's fingers scratched at his hands futily and he chuckled. "Brat." He threw him against the wall with a tremendous thud, and Hidan crumpled onto the floor with a groan. He lay there a moment before rolling onto his back, chest heaving as he inhaled the chilled air. Kakuzu had already seated himself on the cot, book out once again. "You fucking cocksucker." Hidan growled, slowly making his way to where the stitched man sat. "If you touch me I will remove your head." He warned, not looking up from his book. The zealot charged at him with a drawn out yell. "Idiot."

Blood sprayed into the air and Hidan's body crumpled to the floor instantaneously.

"You fucking asshole."

Hidan's head had been severed cleanly, landing directly into Kakuzu's lap. He glared up at him angrily. "You're bleeding on my cloak." he murmured, looking down at the zealot's head. "You fucking cut my head off! Of course I'm bleeding on your fucking cloak you ass!" Kakuzu scowled. More noise. Removing Hidan's head had only made the situation worse, and now he had blood seeping onto his thighs. "Stop talking or I will make you shut up." he warned, feeling particularly sadistic. His eyes glinted wickedly. It had been a long while since he'd had someone's head between his legs, and he'd just come up with the perfect way to kill two birds with one stone.

"I fucking won't! Sew my head back on!" Hidan snarled, attempting to bite the other man. "I'm giving you one more chance to shut up." The stitched man warned, lifting the severed head by the hair. He brought it upwards to look Hidan in the eye. "You will not like what will happen if you speak again." He murmured, face inches from Hidan's, breath hot against his lips. The zealot's eyes widened. "Don't you fucking dare you queer-ass pedophile!" He snarled, spitting on the stitched man's face.

"Strike three." Kakuzu said with a dark chuckle, lowering his mask. Black threads slid from his mouth slowly, creeping against Hidan's lips. "Stop!" Hidan protested. He could do little more than shout now. "And why should I stop?" He whispered, voice dangerously calm. "Even now, after I've warned you several times, you continue to speak. You must want this." Threads slowly entered the zealot's noisy mouth, encircling his tongue slowly. His mouth hung open wordlessly in shock, drool sliding down his chin. "Nothing to say?" Kakuzu murmured, tugging on the appendage roughly. "A-ah…" Hidan gasped, remaining silent.

He wasn't exactly Kakuzu's first choice, but when you were a rogue ninja you learned to take what you could get, and Hidan was pretty enough. "If you behave perhaps I'll return your head to your body when I fuck it." he said crudely. Hidan's eyes widened, and a pink flush crept across his cheeks. "Are you blushing Hidan?" he murmured, threads continuing to caress the immortal's tongue teasingly. "You like this don't you? Being violated by me?"

The hand that wasn't grasping Hidan's hair unsnapped the lower half of his cloak. "F-Fuck you." the zealot managed to say, voice practically a whimper. "In due time." Kakuzu replied with a dark chuckle. "First you are going to suck me off, and if you manage to do that properly, then I will fuck you."

The amount of power he had over the other man was intoxicating, and he relished the look on the zealot's face as he removed the threads from his mouth and positioned his head over his half-hard length. "If you bite me I will fuck you dry." he warned, pressing Hidan's lips against the head of his cock. Surprisingly, Hidan opened his mouth, allowing the miser to slide the entirety of his length inside. "Ahh…" he sighed in pleasure, grasping both sides of Hidan's head. The pale man's eyes were shut tightly, drool sliding down his chin as Kakuzu skull fucked him slowly. "Good." he murmured, rather liking the sudden submissiveness. Hidan groaned around his length, tongue playing at the underside as his head was moved up and down.

It took several minutes before Kakuzu was fully hard, and he slid Hidan's head off his length when he was satisfied, a smirk upon his lips. "Anything to say?" He asked, relishing Hidan's swollen lips and flushed cheeks. Hidan remained quiet, save for another soft groan. "Good boy." Kakuzu praised darkly. "You've earned your body back." he added, heaving the young man's body up onto the cot atop his own. He sewed the zealot's head back on carefully, and was amused to feel an erection grow against his thigh. So Hidan had been enjoying it after all. "Now." he murmured, tilting Hidan's chin up roughly. "Are you going to continue being a good boy?" he asked. The pale man's eyes were hazy, and he nodded, remaining silent. "Good. Take off your clothes." He ordered.

Both of them were already smeared with blood, but Kakuzu supposed it was to be expected, given that Hidan was involved. He watched idly as the pale man stripped, unable to keep from admiring the toned body. He stood and pointed to the cot. "Lie down and spread your legs." he ordered, rather liking the immortal's sudden obedience. The cot was stained with his blood, but he obeyed. "I hate you." He murmured as he spread his legs, as if he needed to remind Kakuzu.

The stitched man chuckled darkly, crawling atop the other man "I know." he said, threads sliding from his wrist to Hidan's entrance, slowly prying him open. "A-ah, fuck." he gasped, arching his back upwards as he was stretched, rather liking the sting of pain. "If you're too tight it will only make this difficult, don't think that I am being merciful." he murmured, adding more threads as the immortal began to relax. "Kakuzu…~" he moaned softly, scratching at his chest as he was stretched. The action amused the stitched nin. "You really enjoy pain don't you?" he murmured, removing the threads. "Just fuck me already." he snarled.

Kakuzu spat in his hand and slicked his length, out of necessity rather than camaraderie, then pressed himself against Hidan's entrance, taking a moment to tease him. "Just fucking do it!" The pale man shouted, despising the power Kakuzu had over him. The miser obliged, snapping his hips forward and burying himself inside the other man.

"FUCKING SHIT!" Hidan yelped, back arching upwards. Kakuzu was larger than he expected, and he felt himself tear as Kakuzu set a brutal pace. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he shouted, tearing at his flesh to distract from the pain. "Kakuzu stop that fucking hurts!" He winced. "It's too late for that." he grunted in reply. He had no plans to stop until he was satisfied. Hidan groaned in pain, turning his hands onto Kakuzu. He yanked at his cloak until the snaps came undone, then tore off his undershirt, fingernails sinking into the tanned flesh. Kakuzu grimaced, but didn't stop, even when he felt stitches breaking. "Stop. You're making me bleed." he grunted, ignoring the blood leaking from the pale man's chest and neck. Hidan moaned, tugging on the stitches despite Kakuzu's protest. The pain was still present, but had dulled enough to be pleasurable. "Fuck, Kakuzu…" He gasped, pulling his hands back to taste the other man's blood.

"Disgusting." Kakuzu grunted, continuing to fuck the younger man relentlessly. He could feel his release approaching, and he was determined to reach it, despite Hidan's behaviour. "Kakuzuuuu… Harder…" the zealot moaned, stoking himself as the stitched man continued to thrust. "Why must you always complain?" Kakuzu hissed, complying.

"Fuck! Cumming!" Hidan yelled after a few minutes more, releasing on his stomach with a violent cry. As he did, the cot broke, sending them both to the floor. "Look what you've done." Kakuzu snarled, fucking the young man relentlessly. "Fuck, stop, it hurts!" Hidan yelped. "Kakuzu seriously!"

The stitched man payed him no heed and continued his brutal pace until he found his release, a low moan escaping his lips as he came within the zealot. He pulled out almost immediately after.

The pair was silent for a moment as they recovered, processing what had just happened. "You're a sick fuck, you know that?" Hidan mumbled, curling onto his side. He'd abandoned the stained, broken cot in favor of the sleeping bags, layered to make a somewhat comfortable bed. Kakuzu lay next to him, scowling as he sewed his shirt back together. He'd hoped the zealot would keep quiet after all that. He set the clothing down and put an arm around the other man, putting his hand over his mouth. "Shut up. For once in your never ending life just shut up." Hidan bit him lightly in warning, and Kakuzu removed it. "You raped me." he grumbled,

"You took your clothes off willingly and asked me to go harder. Quit being delusional, admit that you enjoyed it and go to sleep." He growled, regretting his decision. He'd never hear the end of it now. He rolled over, back facing Hidan as he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Blissful silence filled the room.

"I'm going to pray for you."


End file.
